3-Percent Girl ~ My Life & Thoughts by Lucky Leilani

To Sum It All Up

July 15

This is really a Part 2 of “It All Adds Up” that I wrote on July 5, 2016.

It was when I went to get the link to the video I posted for you that day – and re-watch it – to share with you – that I noticed another video by the same interviewer who spoke to a guy named Gregg Braden. This is the first time I’ve heard of Gregg. In the last 6 months, I feel like the Universe is standing in front of me with a finger in each ear, tongue sticking out, saying “Nahner, Nahner, Naaahhh-ner“. I feel like somehow I’m the last to know everything. I’m crawling out from under the big, giant rock I’ve been hiding under and the sunlight is so bright I can barely see – but I feel everything connecting like a robotic Transformer all around me. Pieces are coming together and I’m just standing there, with my mouth hanging open in awe, as I watch the whole magnificent thing.

To Sum It All Up _ Fibi

Everything is fitting into place.

For others around me, the world is falling apart. I understand why. It was many years ago that I made the decision to stop watching television – cold turkey. I distinctly remember hearing that it was the 10th Anniversary of the t.v. show “E.R.” – and according to the internet movie database (IMDB.com) the show ran from 1994 through 2009. If you do the math, that means I would have stopped watching t.v. sometime around 2004. It must have been in the Spring. I also remember most of everything that happened in 2003 because it was such a traumatic year for me. A lot of things changed that year for everyone, including myself, and giving up t.v. forever could have been one of them. I did the math back then and realized that I’d spent one hour every single week, sitting on my sofa, watching this show religiously. I know there were “specials” where they’d extend it to a 2-hour episode but I don’t know when or how often those happened. I can tell you that I watched even the re-runs all Summer – and if I wasn’t home, I “dvr’d” them so I could watch them later, even if that meant a marathon. If you total it up, this was 520 hours of my life that I would never get back. That was 520 hours minimum because I watched more than just E.R. at the time. I recall Seinfeld and Saturday Night Live and a random handful of shows I enjoyed watching too. This isn’t counting any of those – or the movies I watched on dvd or in the theatre. I decided at that moment that I could be doing something more productive with my life – like volunteering those hours in my community. I immediately set out to find a place more worthy of my time.

Full Steam Ahead.

I moved forward with lightning speed and never looked back. When I’d “bump into” a blaring television at the airport or waiting room, or lobby where I worked, it was as if alarm bells were going off in my head which made it physically hurt to listen to. And for the record, I am a rare bird who never gets headaches. I’ve only had 2 in my entire life – I had my last one as an adult when I ended up with a nasty ear infection in both ears. I had my first one at the age of 13 when I went to Seattle with an Aunt who accused me of being on drugs which was insulting to me because I didn’t even take aspirin! Of course, I was a teen and she automatically assumed that’s what all teenagers with a headache do, I guess. Looking back on it, it could have been a change in altitude. I was used to living in the 6,000 ft. sea level range and I was at sea level. It was also about the time I began having premonition dreams. I never understood them back then. I would just be telling someone about “that weird dream I had recently” and they’d tell me how it was an exact incident that happened to them or someone they knew in real life. I dismissed them all – never making a connection. This continued on for another 7 years. It wasn’t until I moved back to California (where I grew up part of my life) that they stopped, or I just stopped talking about the dream I’d just had because I didn’t really know anyone there that well. I became very private and never shared much about myself.

I had entered the corporate world.

I’m still not very good about sharing personal info about myself. This website is one of the few places you’ll hear about what I’m like and what my personal thoughts are. Most of those things I keep in my journals that I’ve been writing in, almost daily, for more than 35 years. I tried to stop writing in them at one point but that taught me what a valuable tool writing is for me – writing seems to be my form of emotional therapy. I have to release the words inside of me because if I didn’t, they’d eat me up from the inside out. Maybe “journalling” is my drug? It seems to be an addiction but it’s more like a release. I get the same sort of feeling when I pick up a paint brush and I have a blank wall or canvas in front of me, or when the seed catalogs arrive in my mailbox in the dead of Winter and I spend the next few weeks mapping out my seasonal garden with a pad and pencil in hand, staring out the window at the dark, grey sky. I actually ache inside having to wait for Spring to arrive because I yearn to put my hands in the ground to plant something. The thought of my homegrown fruits and veggies makes my mouth water and the intensity of that thought is almost more than I can handle when there’s still a foot or two of snow on the ground.

It All Adds Up Lei3Lue My Head Heart Are One QUOTE

It was while I was watching the video interview (posted below) of Gregg Braden that made what I shared with you in my last post, “It All Adds Up” really click for me. He claims there’s a cycle of events on Earth – they ebb and flow every 56 and 17.7 years. And he goes on to say that our next event is due to arrive in 2017 – the peak of the 56 year cycle.

What goes around, comes around.

I’ve been studying astrology on the side for 25 years. It was this hobby of mine that helped me to understand others more. This study can even be applied to pets and places, or events like a wedding or the start of a new business for instance. It’s because of this knowledge that something inside of me clicked while listening to Gregg. I immediately went into stealth scientist mode and began to do mini research project. I couldn’t stop myself. I was up into the wee hours digging through what I could find on the internet. I found so much information, I can’t share it all here. I was motivated to record a video and post it to Utube but my inability to speak in front of a camera (stage fright???) stopped me. I did a little bit of math and mapped out some diagrams on the pages of my journal, including a Bell Curve. Here’s a mini exercise… Subtract half – the peak of 56 – 28 years – from 2017. It gives you 1989. It was in an instant that it hit me like a freight train… Just Google what I did…

To Sum It All Up _ Goog Berlin Wall

Subtract another 28 years from 1989…

To Sum It All Up _ Berlin Wall 2

And you get the beginning – The year the Berlin Wall began construction.

I then subtracted 9 years from 2017. This gave me 2008. The year the banking industry collapsed in the U.S. and the “Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008” was instituted. Who could forget the bank bailouts?!?! Subtract another 9 years and you get the year 1999 – the year the world practically stood still because of all the hype that went into the year “Y2K” and it was predicted that computers – which our electronic society depended heavily on – were all going to fail because their programming wasn’t designed to “out-live” 1999 and still be in use by the year 2000. People where I lived were buying up food and supplies to last them for years! They were taking gun safety classes to get permits to carry a “concealed weapon” and they were leaving the urban areas to buy up acres of land in rural areas – far away from civilization – or anyone who might want to break into their home looking for food or shelter. Everyone was completely convinced the world was coming to a drastic end. New Year’s came and went and most people celebrated it by staying home in their makeshift bunkers. That’s how many people I knew at the time rang in the New Millennium. I had lived for most of my life outside the rather rural state of Idaho. I had a chance to see how much of the real world operated. I knew that it didn’t take a lot of effort to re-write a code to update software. The chances of collapse were slim, even though it was still a possibility. It would probably be an inconvenience, not a catastrophe. What I know now, however, is it was the beginning of something similar to the Berlin Wall of Wall Street.

I wasn’t surprised to hear from Gregg that events were cyclical. So is nature. Our whole environment we live in is based on a cycle – even the female human body or the growth of plants in a garden can be gauged by the phases of the moon. The Earth’s tides happen – twice a day – by the gravitational pull of the moon and can be documented in a “tide table” (well-known to scuba divers and sailors who can buy them in a booklet every year). It’s predictable. I believe the planets in our solar system act on us and our planet in the same way the moon does. This is confirmed by the ancient study of astrology. If you want to see “Gravity Visualized” watch this demonstration video.

Are events on Earth predictable?

From the research I did after watching the interview with Gregg, I have to unanimously agree that they are. I had just never thought about it until I encountered him. Humans are rather predictable creatures. Even things we once thought were unpredictable – like earthquakes and volcanoes are predictable now because scientists understand how they work. It’s all based on observational awareness. It’s the same way astrology was created thousands and thousands of years ago. Humans observed the stars in the sky, in the same way a sailor would depend on the stars to navigate the ocean, to help predict events. It’s the same way ancient civilizations would know when to plant, when to harvest and when a dry or rainy season would strike. It’s the same way we now understand El Nino and its little sister, La Nina. It’s all predictable.

What will 2017 bring? Who knows? All I can say is that the end of August, through the end of September, 2016, is an astrological “Big Bang“. And I know our world won’t be the same by the time the next New Year rolls around in 2017. In astrological terms, 2016 is the year of “transformation” – nothing can stay the same. It has to grow, or it dies. The Earth – and its inhabitants – have to complete a metamorphosis. It’s time. We simply cannot continue on the same path. All good things must come to an end – which is simply to say that a new beginning has arrived.

Is all of what’s going on in the world giving you a headache? Does your body ache? Don’t worry. Tomorrow will come whether you want it to or not. And if today wasn’t so good, tomorrow is a chance to make it better. There’s more to come!

Gregg Braden gives “Solutions to Shift Extreme Conditions

It All Adds Up

July 5

It All Adds Up Lei3Lue My Head Heart Are One QUOTE

The quote above is from me on an Instagram comment I made to someone else a few months ago. It sums up how I think and feel on a daily basis. I’m human, therefore I still struggle every day. I’m not perfect, but I strive – naturally – for perfection. For balance. For harmony. For peace. When I give equality to all things, that’s when everything is in sync and I see magic in all things all around me and within myself. Being human gives me a different perspective. Being human gives me an environment to strive toward more than I am – for more than I thought I could ever become. Being human allows me to explore. Since there’s no all-knowing that comes from being human, I have infinite possibilities at my feet. I can explore all the paths that are open to me. I just have to take that first step. And then the next one. Eventually I arrive at a place where I can ask myself “Does this feel right to me?” If the answer I hear back is “No.” then I keep going. If I hear “Yes!” then I know I’ve made the right choice and those individual choices I’ve made all along the way have led me to that answer. If it’s still a mystery, then my work is not yet finished.

It All Adds Up Exotic Marigold Hotel Quote

It was so late when I finished writing “Fireworks!” in the early morning on July 4, 2016 that I had to go back and re-read what I wrote, later that day. I added a few things and corrected the wording on a few. As I re-read what I wrote, I really had an epiphany…

We have to feel love – not randomly – but at the exact moment we are ready to make a change – to make a transformation. We have to work beforehand, using the emotion of love, to get to that point where we are ready for change. That’s when we can make things happen. That’s when we begin to recognize magic. How do you know when you’ve reached that point of change and transformation? It’s when you see magic happening – as if spontaneously – all around you. That’s when you know you’ve reached it – At the point when you’re awareness has been matched to the moment.

  • Knowledge comes first – when you learn that you have the power to make a change.
  • Then comes Awareness – You actually witness things taking place all around you. You become more aware of your surroundings, your thoughts, your behavior, and you notice patterns.
  • This creates a Belief within you – You  shift in a way that causes you to stop those negative patterns and you form new positive ones. You discard old beliefs that no longer serve you, and then comes…
  • Understanding. When you reach a point of understanding – that’s when you begin to teach what you know to others. You begin to share what you know because you can’t contain it or keep it all to yourself because it’s so profound.

Seek first to understand. Then to be understood.” ~ Stephen Covey

Seeking understanding of something creates a knowingness that creates a new awareness. That awareness creates a change in beliefs. Those beliefs now help you to understand the whole process so that you can explain it in a way that others you share it with will understand you.

It All Adds Up Einstein Understand Quote

If you can’t explain it in a way that will be understood, maybe it’s because you don’t really understand it yourself yet? When you don’t understand it well enough, how can you put it into words so that others will? I’m smart enough to know that some things are hard to put into words because our language as humans is limiting. That’s where feeling comes in.

If we can reach a point of sharing what it feels like to others, it’s possible their own heart and soul can translate what we’re trying to say and put it together in a way so they can understand – without words. The lack of words is sometimes those moments when we have the most profound or healing and transformative understandings that take place. A metamorphosis occurs within us – and all around us – because we now see the world from a different perspective.

I hear fireworks. My dog hears bombs exploding. I see a deer. A hunter sees food. I see beautiful, cleansing, life-giving, happy raindrops. Someone else sees dark skies and depressing weather. I see black ice, freezing temperatures, mountains of snow to get stuck and stranded in. Someone else sees skiing, sledding, snowman-building, and snowball-making snow. I tried to turn my perspective around in 2010 by making a list of why I should enjoy Winter and shared it with you here in “My Winter Survival Guide“. It really did work. I’ve managed to stop complaining and start appreciating Winter more.  I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point where I’ll love Winter, but I have made huge strides to not hate it so much. I even enjoy getting a chance to take pictures of “naked” trees (trees without their leaves) and I know that Winter is a time when the Earth gets to rest. We need rest so we can recover – and so does the Earth, so it can get ready for more growth in the Spring. Everything is cyclical. Nature. Time. The ocean tide. The moon phases. The list is long. Even humans are cyclical. And so is our climate.

♦  adjective: cyclical
occurring in cycles; recurrent.
“the cyclical nature of the cement industry”
synonyms: recurrent, recurring, regular, repeated

Hopefully this gives you a better understanding of what I was trying to share with you in “Fireworks!“. I want to share with you another interview with Robert Schwartz from 2009. You can click on the link to listen to Part 1 here, but it’s really Part 2 that gets to the meat of what I hope you understand by now. He gives some great tools you can use to put what he teaches into practice.


July 4

Fireworks Smidget BEAUTIFUL 052516

BOOM!  It’s the eve of the 4th of July – Independence Day – here in America. The holiday falls on a Monday this year which means everyone has been celebrating an “extended version” and the fireworks have been going off for 3 days and nights already. I’m not talking about the little firecrackers. Those too! I’m talking about the kind that light up the sky until it almost looks like daylight for miles and miles all around.

Fireworks Summer Solstice and Strawberry Moon on 062016

Time is flying by. It seems I was just celebrating the Summer Solstice and the “strawberry” – or “rose” – Full Moon. It was the first time a full moon had fallen on the same night as a solstice since 1967. Some of you may have let it slip by you. For many, it went unnoticed. It’s because I celebrate a lot of “little things” that it didn’t miss it. It’s as if the universe sends me a gold-lettered invitation – to make sure I don’t miss the party.

I have so much to tell you but I don’t know how to put some of it into words. There’s just too much. I don’t even know where to begin.

It seems the one thing that’s been on my mind a lot lately is manifesting.

♦  adjective: manifest
 clear or obvious to the eye or mind.
“the system’s manifest failings”
synonyms: obvious, clear, plain, apparent, evident, patent, palpable, distinct, definite, blatant, overt, glaring, barefaced, explicit, transparent, conspicuous, undisguised, unmistakable, noticeable, perceptible, visible, recognizable
“his manifest lack of interest”
antonyms: secret
♦  verb: manifest; 3rd person present: manifests; past tense: manifested; past participle: manifested; gerund or present participle: manifesting
 display or show (a quality or feeling) by one’s acts or appearance; demonstrate.
“Ray manifested signs of severe depression”
synonyms: display, show, exhibit, demonstrate, betray, present, reveal; formal evince
“she manifested signs of depression”
antonyms: hide
•  be evidence of; prove.
“bad industrial relations are often manifested in disputes and strikes”
synonyms: be evidence of, be a sign of, indicate, show, attest to, reflect, bespeak, prove, establish, evidence, substantiate, corroborate, confirm; literary betoken
“his positive potential is manifested by his art”
antonyms: mask
•  (of an ailment) become apparent through the appearance of symptoms.
“a disorder that usually manifests in middle age”
•  (of a ghost or spirit) appear.
“one deity manifested in the form of a bird”

Everyone is so worried about who’s going to be elected the next President of the U.S. that they’re going a bit insane. I know from past experience that the President has already been chosen. They – the electoral college – has had its mind made up from the moment they were introduced to the person 20 or 30 years ago. If you want to be President, you must first be a Governor of a State, then a Senator. That’s how things work in the U.S. Hilary Clinton shook hands with Barack Obama when they were running against each other in 2008 and he gave her the title of Secretary of State for the U.S. – She became the most traveled Secretary of State on record in 2013, logging almost 957-thousand miles! It seems she wanted to either see the world or avoid her husband, former President Bill Clinton. Remember John Kerry – who ran for President in 2004? He was given the office of Secretary of State so Hilary could run for President. In 2016, he became the most traveled Secretary of State! It seems there’s a world-record race going on and the taxpayers of the U.S. aren’t even aware of it. It’s slipped right by them – just like the Strawberry Solstice Full Moon.

This is going to be a Presidential race no one will ever forget!

No matter who wins, there’s going to be a lot of losers this time around. This country is ripe for it. It’s been building up steam for 30 years. Trump is hell-bent on winning and Hilary is a storm waiting to happen. We’re all about to witness what happens when an immovable object meets and unstoppable force. And I’m betting neither one of them will actually survive the election to take the oath of office in January. President Obama isn’t going to give up so easily. He’s been busy building an empire – right under our noses.

As the fireworks are going off, I’ve been reminded of the sacrifice so many made to give Americans their freedom. The freedom they so willingly have given up for the sake of a false sense of safety. Former President Bush knew this. President Obama knows this too. If we can keep the sheep lulled, or hypnotized, then we can do whatever we want and we can continue to do what we want. No one will ever notice – and by the time they do, it’ll be too late. The one thing they didn’t count on was the firecracker that is Donald Trump. He’s the wildcard. Hilary was promised the White House when she made an agreement to give up her share of electoral votes to Obama, behind closed doors, so he could win. She made a sacrifice that might cost her the election now. She thought she had it all planned out – it was just a matter of time.

One thing I’ve discovered during this election is just how well Donald Trump can manifest things. I’ve heard several people say that he’s “a natural” when it comes to making what he wants manifest. It’s true. As I was just telling someone earlier tonight – Trump wasn’t always that way. He learned to be a manifester. He’s mastered it. He’s perfected it. He sees what he wants and he goes after it.  He makes things happen. Hilary, on the other hand, is just a stubborn mule. She’s very determined. She gets what she wants through sheer determination and willpower. Donald just waves a wand and makes things happen. He can also pay people to make things happen for him. Something else these characters didn’t count on was a little group called Anonymous. They began in 2003. And they’ve been working behind the scenes since. They’re going to be the icing on the cake in the Presidential race this year. It’s their Lucky 13th year!

So what’s the secret to manifesting what we want?

It’s knowledge. It’s awareness. It’s belief. It’s understanding. And all of that can be summed up in two words: Our Thoughts.

Yes. That’s it folks. I’ve unlocked the secret to everything on this planet, as humans. The secret to Knowledge, Awareness, Belief, and Understanding. It’s how we think. This is because how we think becomes our feelings – we’re very emotional creatures compared to other beings and entities – that’s what planet Earth was designed for – for the human experience and the world of contrasts – or “duality”. Black, White. Up, Down. Left, Right. Right, Wrong. Good, Evil. Love, Hate. We’ve got both. When we experience the extreme – or opposite – of something, that’s when we learn what the other one feels like – or what it feels like to be without it. Our emotions allow us to feel. Our feelings dictate our actions. Our actions dictate our future. Our future is our life – our entire life. One moment after another. One by One, we create our future. Our choices are determined by our feelings – whether we like or don’t like something or someone. How that something or someone makes us feel. We react – in our minds first. Then we act.

So if we learn to control our thoughts, we learn to control the emotions tied to how we feel – or think we feel  – about something or someone, and that determines the choices we make. And don’t forget that we also affect others by the choices we make and by how we feel about them. They are simply a mirror that reflects back to us our own emotions about them.

If we want to change our future, we have to change our thoughts. Our thoughts will manifest our future. If we want something, we have to be passionate about it, not obsessed. There is a difference. Passion is born from love. Obsession is born from fear.

Fear Not

If you want something you also have to remove all fear of wanting that something. You have to love it. You have to want it so much that It can feel your love. That’s the secret ingredient. I’ve only recently discovered this myself. Put all your love into something – passionately – and it will love you back. Isn’t that how relationships are? Forget about the ones you’ve been obsessed with – or that others have been obsessed over you about. Those were created from fear. I’m talking about the ones so passionate that you both could feel the love flowing through you two. I’m talking about Fireworks!

Fireworks Are Fire

What does fire do? It either ignites something or it burns something out. Think about it. When something is ignited, it continues to burn – with passion. When something is burned out – the flame dies. When you let fear consume you, you get burned out. When you let love consume you, you grow even hotter. You begin to feed it and it feeds you in return.

That’s what it’s like to manifest something. Once you create it, it feels so good you want more of it and you want to manifest more. Trump is a prime human example of this. He loves is money more than anything. He loves power more than anything. He loves to manipulate people more than anything.

Look back at the definition of manifest. Notice something? We can manifest depression – our moods. We can manifest anger – emotions, including fear, or love. We can manifest creativity – art, writing, music, architecture. We can even manifest health – illness and dis-ease.

Remember, our thoughts are what ultimately control our manifestation. BOOM!

This became very apparent to me recently when I realized someone a friend of mine knew was so busy trying to control things she had no control over and the one thing she could control – which was her health – she left it up to doctors to control for her. She had become so numb, she no longer listened to her body and what it was telling her. She had stopped feeling. She had stopped receiving love in her relationship at home. She had lost all feeling and passion about her job. She was so consumed by trying to control others – through fear – that she had neglected herself. I quickly realized that if she allowed the same amount of energy she was expending on controlling others and things that were out of her control, and focused that energy on healing herself and receiving love – so she had love to give – then she could manifest a healthy life. I can see that if she changed her focus, This too shall pass. Instead, she was exhausted. She was burned out. She wasn’t living a life of passion. She wasn’t pursuing life with passion. She’d gotten derailed somewhere along the way and she manifested the life she was now living.

The citizens of the U.S. have become numb. This is not an accident. It didn’t just happen overnight. We’ve become so focused on things that don’t matter – we’ve lost the love for what does! We’ve left it up to politicians to control and think for us, just as the woman I just told you about left it up to her doctors to think for her. Now we’ve gotten to the point of being sick of it – sick from it. – If we could only realize we have it within ourselves to focus our energy and regain power (just another form of energy) over what we can control, to manifest the world we truly want. The problem is, we’ve convinced ourselves that our “politicians know what’s best” – and we’re “too busy” to deal with it, or we’re “too busy” to take time out to ask ourselves “What do we really want?”. I want you to also notice something else. Change doesn’t happen for humans until they can reach a certain level of Knowledge. Awareness. Understanding. And Belief.

As I was explaining to the person I was talking to earlier tonight, it’s like being a dog. My Kiwi (130 pound – 59kg or 10 stones – Newfoundland puppy who’s now 4 years old), is so consumed by fear from the fireworks she’s either hiding or in panic mode (Did you notice the antonyms of “manifest” in the definition? Again, the world of duality.). She can’t even sleep. She doesn’t want to eat. She doesn’t want to be outside. She is terrified. As a human, I have a different perspective. To her, they’re bombs going off. She thinks it’s the end of the world! To me, I know they’re only loud noises that make pretty colors in the sky and in a few days, they’ll be gone. This too shall pass. The holiday will be over. Everything will go back to “normal”. I can see that she’s manifesting her own fear because she thinks the loud noises are danger. It’s scary. If she only knew! Knowledge. Awareness. Understanding. And Belief. She trusts that I will protect her and I give her love and she gives me love in return. I’m her manifester but first, she has to trust me.

Learn to love and you can manifest too. Use fireworks to ignite passion. Face the fear like my kitty, Smidget, is doing in the picture above. Focus all your attention – all your energy. Give it all the love you have. I would have shared a picture of Kiwi but she was too freaked out to hold still long enough – she’s become a blur.

For now, I leave you with this video from an interview with author, Robert Schwartz. He wrote the books “Your Soul’s Plan” and “Your Soul’s Gift” – it’s about how we choose the life we want to manifest before we are born. We get to decide who we encounter, who ignites us, who burns us out, and the lessons we want to learn based on the experiences we want to have in this lifetime. I found it fascinating – and life-changing, to say the least. I think this concept will not only help humans to forgive once they understand. And that new found knowledge will help them to heal. Help to create (another form of manifesting!) Change.

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Me on my 10th birthday ~ A very sad day

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

~ Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

Knowing that I am about to take a journey of a thousand miles doesn’t make writing this any easier. I am about to share with you things I haven’t made public until now. I have only talked about these things with a few people I have allowed to get close enough to me over the years. I have a lot of friends but I didn’t make really good, true friends until I was much older. Growing up, life was very difficult for me. I was subjected to abuse, neglect, and things no child should have to suffer through.

I am number 7 of 8 children. Only 7 survived; 6 girls and 1 boy. They are all my half-siblings and I have another brother from a step-mother on my dad’s side. My real dad died in a car accident when I was 6 but my parents had divorced long before that. Practically from the moment I was born, my life has been a living miracle. I was raised by my grandmother, “Mrs. B” as everyone called her, for most of my life. It was the time spent with my mother that can fill the pages of a novel and which has brought me to this site, to share my life with all of you reading this.

I have often been told by those who know me and hear my story that I should write a book about my life. I have kept a journal for 31 years and consider it my therapy and believe it’s one of the reasons I have been able to deal with the demons in my past as well as I have. I guess, in a way, by writing about my experiences here, I am finally writing that book. And I am willing to share with you a lot of the things that happened but what I am not willing to share are the specific methods used to torture me as a child since I vowed to myself long ago that I would never disclose that information. I don’t want anyone reading my words to get any ideas on how to torture a child without leaving a mark.

It’s an epidemic in our society ~ One that I believe has gotten much worse since I endured it. Even though I managed to live through all of it, I have often wondered how I managed to turn out so different than my siblings ~ That one in eight ~ who went on to break the cycle of abuse, thrive, live a healthy life, and arrive at a place where I can talk about it with all of you. How is it possible that I didn’t turn out to be a criminal or an abuser? How is it possible that I have managed to be “normal” when my mother and siblings aren’t? How is it possible that I was able to move on and not dwell on what happened? How is it possible for me to talk about it now? And above all, why am I so happy?

I was told by my grandmother (my mother’s mother, Mrs. B.) that I was barely three months old when she and her husband, my grandpa Warren, drove from Idaho to an orphanage in California “to get me” and my siblings. She said they waited and waited for what seemed like hours “for the women to bring me out”. She said she didn’t think they were going to let her have me – that I had already been adopted out and they were too late – until finally one of the women brought me to my grandmother and explained that they couldn’t find any clothes for me to wear and that was the reason for the delay. To hear that I was laying in a crib naked, at three months old, somewhere in an orphanage in California, makes me shudder to this day. Of course, I was too young to remember that.

What I do remember is how happy I was while living with Mrs. B. ~ a “brown-purse-carrying-woman” who only “graduated” from the 8th grade (Girls weren’t encouraged to go beyond that grade in school during the time period she grew up in).  Undeterred by this, she managed to own her own restaurant during one time in her life. She was an amazing woman who lived to be 88 years old and whose words still echo inside my head every now and then when I am searching for wisdom ~ some of the pearls I will be sharing with you.

I’ve always felt like I was lucky and blessed throughout my life. I just didn’t realize how lucky I was until I heard Country Music Singer, Jimmy Wayne, say that only three-percent of kids who are exposed to abuse and neglect grow up to “survive and thrive” (as I call it), becoming productive members of our society ~ I didn’t realize I was a “Three-Percent Girl” until February 5, 2010. I still cannot get the words out of my head. It has taken me a month to overcome the tears and sadness and overwhelming shock I felt when I realized I was only one of THREE-percent. Three lucky pennies who have managed to pay back to society what others have lost.

This site will go on to live long after Jimmy has finished his walk from Nashville, TN, to Phoenix, AZ (Began Feb. 2010. Ended Aug. 2010). I am going to be sharing with you not just what happened to me as a child, but also talk about my mentor, Fred, who is a HUGE reason I believe I survived and became such a well-rounded individual and I will be giving him an opportunity to write, in his own words, what it was like to be a mentor to me and how that happened. I am going to share with you my thoughts as I look at the world through the eyes of a three-percent girl, including articles, statistics, resources, experiences I’ve had in the past, such as volunteer work I’ve done, as well as since Jimmy has begun his Project Meet Me Halfway campaign. I’ll be sharing some of the fun things I do every day, including some of my recipes, pictures, and ideas. And of course, some good laughs (because those of you who know me from Twitter, know I can hardly keep a straight virtual face!) and since I’m an environmental scientist, I will be talking about the environment ~ which, surprisingly, ties in very neatly with the problems we are having in our world today with teen homelessness and the mission that brought Jimmy and I together, on the same path, where our two worlds collided and helped you and I meet on Twitter (something I knew nothing about until 2 months ago! [Late Dec. 2009]).

[Written Mar. 9, 2010]  I am new to managing my own website as well, so forgive me if it takes a little while for me to figure it out – I’ve been on a crash course for a few days now. I also encourage you to post a comment – which will be hidden until I can decide how to best manage them – if you have questions. I will be happy to answer them or find the answers for you and post them in upcoming blogs. I hope this will be a two-way channel of communication since I truly believe the only way we can change the epidemic is through education and communication.

This website is a view into my world as a 3-percent Girl ~ A way of sharing with others my past, my present, my thoughts, my questions, my answers, and my adventures. It’s my desire that in some small way it may save a life or inspire “hope”.  Therefore, I hope you enjoy the walk with me… into my future

~ Leilani (who considers herself a VERY lucky girl!)

P.S. For those of you who have stumbled upon my page and want to learn more, click on the hyperlinks I’ve provided in my pages and they will guide you to more resources. Just click the back arrow on your web browser to return to my site. Don’t forget to bookmark my page too! Thanks for visiting and I hope we can one day share a cup of coffee, some good laughs, and a great conversation, face-to-face.

Hope is a waking dream” ~ Aristotle


If you look under the (peach-colored) center column that says “PAGES” at the top, you can find the one (4th one down) that says “Contact Me“. If you click on that page, it will give you options to contact me. I’ll keep it updated when something changes – so be sure to check it before you send me anything! I’m not that great at checking personal email so the best way to reach me right now is just to leave me a comment on something I’ve posted and I’ll see it when I log onto this site. YOUR COMMENT WILL NOT AUTOMATICALLY POST to this website. If you want to contact me, you can do it that way and I can reply to you, privately.

You Can Also Follow Me On Twitter (Although I haven’t been on there since New Years 2016) – Or on Instagram (See “Contact Me” page).