3-Percent Girl ~ My Life & Thoughts by Lucky Leilani

Melted

May 26

Melted In the Rain 052516I was walking out of the Post Office in my Small Town, Idaho, today and as I was leaving the building there was a guy coming inside. He said to me, “Don’t go out there. You’re too sweet. You’ll melt.”  How he knew I was a sweet person, I’ll never know. I only held the door open for him as I was leaving. I just said, “Awww…” as he continued inside.

It made me smile because if you know me, I LOVE RAIN. If I could melt into rain or become a puddle, I would. I’d let myself flow all the way to the ocean, if I could.

To be honest, I’m in a state of confusion right now. My world has turned upside down and I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I feel like a newly formed puddle – not knowing if I’m going to be swallowed up by the sun when it decides to shine again or if I’m going to become a thirsty drink for all the plants around me. Will they just drink me up like the straw that I am?

Melted Rain Tree 052516All I know is that raindrops make me happy. I could stare at them on my window all day long – just watching them roll and merge into one another until they become so heavy they can’t stay put. They roll on down, taking their neighboring drops with them. It’s like a rain dance – and I’m the only one they’re performing for. It’s a silent symphony. And I’m the only one who can hear it.

After leaving the Post Office, I continued on my destination.

Melted Empty Library Shelves 052516Next stop? The local Public Library. I was searching for a book that I had checked out before – I returned it because I just didn’t have time to read it. I came across someone talking about it online again. I recognized the cover of the book as the one I had checked out from my library on a whim.

When I got to my library today, I was sadly disappointed when I saw that where that book was supposed to be – and all the other metaphysical books were once shelved – was completely empty.

This is life in a backwards, conservative, small-minded town. Someone on the library staff apparently decided – and had the authority – to get rid of that entire section. Book burning is alive and well in this day and age! They don’t burn them, they just remove them. Take them out of circulation. I was so stunned, I had to share it with you. This is also the only library in this town. The next closest one is 65 miles away. And No, they don’t share or lend their books to one another. There’s no such thing as “inter-library-loans” here. It’s my greatest frustration. I think Amazon was created by someone who grew up in my Small Town, Idaho. I’m kidding – but really I’m not.

Necessity is the Mother of Invention. I’d be lost sometimes if I wasn’t able to order a book from Amazon, or my most favorite bookstore, Powell’s in Portland, Oregon. When I die, I want to live in its aisles. I want to absorb all the books like a sponge.
Melted Erik Libraries In Heaven 052516

According to Erik Medhus in his book “My Life After Death“, there are LIBRARIES in “Heaven” and I couldn’t be more thrilled to read that! Since “Heaven” is really only a few feet away from us – but it’s moving at such a fast vibration and in a different dimension, we can’t see it – it makes perfect sense that it would be just like our world (that we can see) only in more vivid colors and a broader range of sounds. Our bodies limit what we see and hear, here on Earth. Erik says:

“We have libraries, too, and they’re amazing! They have books filled with so much fucking wisdom, it’s unreal – books where I can pretty much learn about anything and everything in the Universe – other dimensions, other planets and other beings that live in and on them, whatever I’m curious about. All knowledge can be found in those books, and all I have to do is merge with the energy of the book to get its information, and if I want to learn about something but the book containing the knowledge doesn’t exist in the library, I can will it [manifest it] into being. I love walking into the libraries here, thinking about what I want to learn and absorbing it into me. It’s a lot like downloading information onto a computer. I wish I could have done it when I was in school back on Earth. Man, I hated reading.”

Erik hated reading. And I can’t get enough time to read everything I want to read. It seems a day never goes by that I don’t hear about another book, or two, that I want to read next. I actually have a list I’ve made of books I want to read so I could keep track of them because I can’t read fast enough. If only I could absorb them like they do where Erik lives now!!! One of my High School teachers called it “osmosis” – but he was saying that wasn’t possible. He told the students, “As hard as you try, You can read a book through osmosis!” – That teacher just never met Erik! I want Erik to be my new Librarian!

Well, Forget That! Erik is my library!

The more I learn from Erik the smarter I become. He’s Google-In-Heaven! Just Google him and he responds with an answer you can trust. Go ahead. Just ask him!

For now, I leave you with a song that’s been playing on my mind today…

Joe Jackson “Steppin’ Out  It’s my brain melting, and dancing in the rain!

LOL Rx

May 23
AFFIRMATIONS

AFFIRMATIONS

As I write this my kitty, Smidget, is curled up between me and my computer keyboard that’s on my bed. I’m allergic to kitties but Smidget and I have a love that knows no boundaries. She crosses mine and allows me to cross hers every now and then. That’s what love is. And it helps that I can type this with one hand – My left hand. She’s keeping me company – and offers me a challenge and a new perspective – Life with one hand.

Someone I really miss is George Carlin. He always made/makes me laugh. I can listen to him over and over and still laugh even though I’ve heard his jokes a million times. He was also a committed Atheist. I was surprised to see he was interviewed by Erik Medhus and his mom, Elisa, on ChannelingErik.com and WOW! What an eye-opener haha! George has always had a different perspective. The one he has now is no exception.

“No matter what you believe in – You’re still going to end up dead.”
~ George Carlin

Before you read about George and his experience in the After-life, I need to tell you that since I’ve encountered Erik, I’ve learned that what we believe in this life about how death is, we manifest it when we die. If we think we’re going to Hell, we’ll experience it. If we think we’re going to see Jesus, we’ll experience it. If we don’t believe in a life after this one – such as an Atheist – then we’ll dwell in darkness until we finally “give in” and either shout out for help or, like George did – laugh and say out loud “I AM GOD!” which then changes everything. The environment becomes what our thoughts create. Our thoughts become our reality – just as they do in this life. This is a lesson I’m still trying to learn. I “get it” but I still have a hard time putting it into practice. I’m working on it.

“The Big Electron… It Just IS.”
~ George Carlin
(Who’s with the Big Electron now)

George Carlin – Dead People and Computers – Notice the old, original Mac computer on the right side of the screen in the background of this video. Weird.

 

Note: Each of the following links will open up in their own Windows tab.

Erik’s Interview with George Carlin – Part 1  (Dated June 19, 2012)

Erik’s Interview with George Carlin – Part 2

(This one gets really X-rated. Proceed with caution.) Erik’s Interview with George Carlin – Part 3 
(The video at the end of this Part 3 is especially interesting. Worth listening to when you really understand what the After-life is like. It helps to have already read Erik’s book My Life After Death“.

Erik’s Interview with George Carlin – Part 4

Erik’s Interview with George Carlin – Part 5 (Dated June 25, 2012)

I really love how someone’s personality still comes through, even after they’ve died. That, to me, is the most profound evidence I’ve experienced to convince me that life does go on after this one ends. We take our thoughts, our memories, our personality, and our love with us when we leave this planet. So be careful whom you love, what you think, and only create the good stuff you wanna remember! And take home some advice from George – Don’t die with a broken heart.

Fear Less

May 22
Fear Less _ Earth From Mars 052216

View of Earth From Mars

Today was my grandmother’s, Mrs. B., birthday. All I can think about for the last few days is her. And this morning, on my way into town, a robin flew into the wide street I was driving down and it attracted my attention. It caught my eye because it’s a robin that always reminds me of my grandmother. As I watched – because I wasn’t driving that fast – I noticed it was as if the bird was celebrating her birthday with me as it hopped around in the rain. It wasn’t seeking shelter among the trees. It was dancing in the rain. Right along with me.

As my awareness about what’s beyond this earthly life grows, my understanding increases and I find more and more information – as if the universe is sending me so much stuff I can hardly digest it all. It’s just flying at me. So, I’ll keep this short and just share with you some things that I know my grandmother would enjoy hearing about if she were still here with me. Before I do that, I want to remind you of what I wrote in “Pearls” back in March, 2010. I’ve since saved it as a Page in my website – so you can always find it in the center column (in the peach-color section) of this site if you want to read it again.

Here’s something I was just sharing with someone today. It’s a TEDx Talk by Anita Moorjani. I’ll let her tell you her story. Fascinating woman. She has 5 Things she wants to share with all of you.

The next thing I want to share is “The Top 10 Things Dead People Want To Tell You” by Mike Dooley. I haven’t read his book but I do agree with everything he’s saying based on what I’ve researched so far. It makes me wanna dance in the rain some more! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grandma!

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Me on my 10th birthday ~ A very sad day

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

~ Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

Knowing that I am about to take a journey of a thousand miles doesn’t make writing this any easier. I am about to share with you things I haven’t made public until now. I have only talked about these things with a few people I have allowed to get close enough to me over the years. I have a lot of friends but I didn’t make really good, true friends until I was much older. Growing up, life was very difficult for me. I was subjected to abuse, neglect, and things no child should have to suffer through.

I am number 7 of 8 children. Only 7 survived; 6 girls and 1 boy. They are all my half-siblings and I have another brother from a step-mother on my dad’s side. My real dad died in a car accident when I was 6 but my parents had divorced long before that. Practically from the moment I was born, my life has been a living miracle. I was raised by my grandmother, “Mrs. B” as everyone called her, for most of my life. It was the time spent with my mother that can fill the pages of a novel and which has brought me to this site, to share my life with all of you reading this.

I have often been told by those who know me and hear my story that I should write a book about my life. I have kept a journal for 31 years and consider it my therapy and believe it’s one of the reasons I have been able to deal with the demons in my past as well as I have. I guess, in a way, by writing about my experiences here, I am finally writing that book. And I am willing to share with you a lot of the things that happened but what I am not willing to share are the specific methods used to torture me as a child since I vowed to myself long ago that I would never disclose that information. I don’t want anyone reading my words to get any ideas on how to torture a child without leaving a mark.

It’s an epidemic in our society ~ One that I believe has gotten much worse since I endured it. Even though I managed to live through all of it, I have often wondered how I managed to turn out so different than my siblings ~ That one in eight ~ who went on to break the cycle of abuse, thrive, live a healthy life, and arrive at a place where I can talk about it with all of you. How is it possible that I didn’t turn out to be a criminal or an abuser? How is it possible that I have managed to be “normal” when my mother and siblings aren’t? How is it possible that I was able to move on and not dwell on what happened? How is it possible for me to talk about it now? And above all, why am I so happy?

I was told by my grandmother (my mother’s mother, Mrs. B.) that I was barely three months old when she and her husband, my grandpa Warren, drove from Idaho to an orphanage in California “to get me” and my siblings. She said they waited and waited for what seemed like hours “for the women to bring me out”. She said she didn’t think they were going to let her have me – that I had already been adopted out and they were too late – until finally one of the women brought me to my grandmother and explained that they couldn’t find any clothes for me to wear and that was the reason for the delay. To hear that I was laying in a crib naked, at three months old, somewhere in an orphanage in California, makes me shudder to this day. Of course, I was too young to remember that.

What I do remember is how happy I was while living with Mrs. B. ~ a “brown-purse-carrying-woman” who only “graduated” from the 8th grade (Girls weren’t encouraged to go beyond that grade in school during the time period she grew up in).  Undeterred by this, she managed to own her own restaurant during one time in her life. She was an amazing woman who lived to be 88 years old and whose words still echo inside my head every now and then when I am searching for wisdom ~ some of the pearls I will be sharing with you.

I’ve always felt like I was lucky and blessed throughout my life. I just didn’t realize how lucky I was until I heard Country Music Singer, Jimmy Wayne, say that only three-percent of kids who are exposed to abuse and neglect grow up to “survive and thrive” (as I call it), becoming productive members of our society ~ I didn’t realize I was a “Three-Percent Girl” until February 5, 2010. I still cannot get the words out of my head. It has taken me a month to overcome the tears and sadness and overwhelming shock I felt when I realized I was only one of THREE-percent. Three lucky pennies who have managed to pay back to society what others have lost.

This site will go on to live long after Jimmy has finished his walk from Nashville, TN, to Phoenix, AZ (Began Feb. 2010. Ended Aug. 2010). I am going to be sharing with you not just what happened to me as a child, but also talk about my mentor, Fred, who is a HUGE reason I believe I survived and became such a well-rounded individual and I will be giving him an opportunity to write, in his own words, what it was like to be a mentor to me and how that happened. I am going to share with you my thoughts as I look at the world through the eyes of a three-percent girl, including articles, statistics, resources, experiences I’ve had in the past, such as volunteer work I’ve done, as well as since Jimmy has begun his Project Meet Me Halfway campaign. I’ll be sharing some of the fun things I do every day, including some of my recipes, pictures, and ideas. And of course, some good laughs (because those of you who know me from Twitter, know I can hardly keep a straight virtual face!) and since I’m an environmental scientist, I will be talking about the environment ~ which, surprisingly, ties in very neatly with the problems we are having in our world today with teen homelessness and the mission that brought Jimmy and I together, on the same path, where our two worlds collided and helped you and I meet on Twitter (something I knew nothing about until 2 months ago! [Late Dec. 2009]).

[Written Mar. 9, 2010]  I am new to managing my own website as well, so forgive me if it takes a little while for me to figure it out – I’ve been on a crash course for a few days now. I also encourage you to post a comment – which will be hidden until I can decide how to best manage them – if you have questions. I will be happy to answer them or find the answers for you and post them in upcoming blogs. I hope this will be a two-way channel of communication since I truly believe the only way we can change the epidemic is through education and communication.

This website is a view into my world as a 3-percent Girl ~ A way of sharing with others my past, my present, my thoughts, my questions, my answers, and my adventures. It’s my desire that in some small way it may save a life or inspire “hope”.  Therefore, I hope you enjoy the walk with me… into my future

~ Leilani (who considers herself a VERY lucky girl!)

P.S. For those of you who have stumbled upon my page and want to learn more, click on the hyperlinks I’ve provided in my pages and they will guide you to more resources. Just click the back arrow on your web browser to return to my site. Don’t forget to bookmark my page too! Thanks for visiting and I hope we can one day share a cup of coffee, some good laughs, and a great conversation, face-to-face.

Hope is a waking dream” ~ Aristotle

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

If you look under the (peach-colored) center column that says “PAGES” at the top, you can find the one (4th one down) that says “Contact Me“. If you click on that page, it will give you options to contact me. I’ll keep it updated when something changes – so be sure to check it before you send me anything! I’m not that great at checking personal email so the best way to reach me right now is just to leave me a comment on something I’ve posted and I’ll see it when I log onto this site. YOUR COMMENT WILL NOT AUTOMATICALLY POST to this website. If you want to contact me, you can do it that way and I can reply to you, privately.

You Can Also Follow Me On Twitter (Although I haven’t been on there since New Years 2016) – Or on Instagram (See “Contact Me” page).